When kids step onto the ice for the first time, it’s not the stats, trophies, or scholarships that...
Coach, Own Your Screw-Ups
Why Admitting Mistakes Builds Stronger Teams
In youth hockey, coaches are often seen as the ones who set the tone, make the calls, and carry the clipboard. But here’s the truth: coaches mess up too. And when they own it, they don’t lose respect—they earn it.
Let’s break down why admitting mistakes isn’t just okay—it’s essential.
Why It Matters: Kids Are Always Watching
Whether you realize it or not, your players are studying you. Not just your drills or systems—but your reactions, your body language, your tone after a loss.
When you make a mistake and own it, you’re modeling something far more valuable than a breakout strategy:
- Accountability: You’re showing that leadership isn’t about being flawless—it’s about being responsible.
- Authenticity: Kids can spot fake confidence a mile away. Owning your mistake shows you’re real.
- Emotional safety: When players see that even coaches slip up, they feel safer to take risks and learn.
If you pretend you’re always right, you’re teaching your team that mistakes are shameful. If you own your screw-ups, you’re teaching them that mistakes are part of the game—and part of life.
Why It’s Good for Players to See Mistakes Happen
Youth athletes are under pressure. They’re trying to impress coaches, parents, and peers. They’re learning how to handle wins, losses, and everything in between.
When a coach admits a mistake, it sends a powerful message:
- Mistakes don’t define you: They’re just moments. What matters is how you respond.
- Growth mindset > perfection: Players start to focus on effort, learning, and resilience.
- It’s okay to speak up: If a coach can admit fault, players feel safer to say, “I didn’t understand that drill,” or “I should’ve passed instead of shot.”
This creates a culture where honesty and growth are valued more than ego and fear.
Why Humility Is a Strength in Coaching
Let’s be clear: humility isn’t weakness. It’s power under control.
A humble coach:
- Builds deeper trust: Players respect someone who’s honest and human.
- Creates a learning environment: If you’re still learning, so can they.
- Fosters team unity: When everyone’s accountable—including the coach—there’s no room for finger-pointing.
- Keeps the focus on development: Humility shifts the spotlight from “who’s right” to “what’s best for the team.”
In youth hockey, where emotions run high and development is everything, humility is the glue that holds a team together.
How to Address Mistakes as a Coach
So how do you actually do it? Here’s a playbook for turning a mistake into a leadership moment:
1. Be Direct and Honest
Don’t dance around it. Say it straight:
“I made a call that didn’t work out. That’s on me.”
This shows strength, not weakness. It sets the tone for accountability.
2. Explain Your Thought Process
Help players understand your reasoning:
“I thought that line would give us more speed, but I didn’t factor in how tired they were.”
This teaches decision-making and shows that mistakes aren’t random—they’re part of learning.
3. Model Growth
Follow up with what you’ll do differently:
“Next time, I’ll check in with the bench before making that switch.”
This shows that mistakes lead to improvement—not blame.
4. Keep the Focus on the Team
Reinforce the shared journey:
“Just like I expect you to learn from your shifts, I’m learning from mine too.”
This builds a culture where everyone is growing together.
Final Thoughts
Coaching isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present, honest, and committed to your players’ development. When you own your mistakes, you’re not just teaching hockey—you’re teaching character, leadership, and resilience.